On top of everything else thrown your way during menopause, you might find it all too easy to let things slip in the bedroom.
It’s extremely common to experience libido loss during the change. That’s the first and reassuring thing to keep in mind: it’s not just you. Millions of women around the world find their libido fluctuating at the same time as their hormones are going into freefall. (1)
We’ll look today at how your sex drive can be affected by many common menopause symptoms. Your changing role in life and other factors can also adversely affect your sex drive so it’s no surprise if you start feeling less enthusiastic about the bedroom.
Importantly, though, we’ll also address five simple steps you can take to get things back on track if you feel the passion slipping away as you undergo the change.
First thing’s first, why does menopause play a role in your libido?
Menopause and Your Sex Drive
Everyone has a slightly differing menopause experience so there’s no cut-and-paste prognosis for your sex drive.
You might be among the lucky women who find that freedom from using contraception and an empty nest lead to an upswing in desire.
It’s more likely, though, you’ll find that you’re fighting a losing battle against tumultuous hormonal changes in your body and you end up disinclined to rush to the bedroom.
What Impacts Your Sex Drive During The Change?
The primary cause of a loss in libido during menopause is the hormonal changes happening inside your body.
As estrogen levels dwindle, you might very well find your vagina becoming drier and less elastic. This can translate to itching, burning or dryness that renders sexy downright uncomfortable. (2)
A drop in testosterone, normally produced in your ovaries, along with a general hormonal imbalance during menopause can also have adverse effects on your libido. (3)
Other menopause symptoms beyond vaginal dryness can also bring pressure to your sex life.
- Weight Gain: It’s not accurate to say that menopause itself directly causes weight gain. Whatever the reason, though, putting on a few pounds in this transitional phase of your life is almost inevitable. This can often result in you feeling less than desirable and not too quick to initiate lovemaking. (4)
- Depression or Mood Swings: Feeling low and experiencing mood swings is a common menopause symptom. This can sap your desire just as surely as flagging levels of estrogen. (5)
As well as hormonal factors beyond your control and having your libido affected by other commonplace menopause symptoms, what can you do if you find your hunger for sex eroding?
5 Things To Make It Better
Since the odds are heavily against you and you’re highly likely to notice a loss in libido during menopause, the best thing to do is to fight back.
Here are 5 simple ways to rekindle the romance in your relationship during the change.
- Set Aside a Date Night: Time can often seem to be your enemy so block out a designated time that suits you to ease toward the bedroom after watching a movie or doing whatever it is you like together. Remove all pressure and focus on simply spending quality time together. Put your cell phone away and concentrate on getting intimate.
- See Your Doctor If Your Relationship is Being Affected: Depending on the nature of your circumstances, you might need to see your doctor to explore treatment options. If your loss in libido is so strong that wqit’s putting a strain on your relationship, it’s well worth seeing your doctor.
- Talk About It: Be open and honest with your partner. Perhaps they’re unaware of the reasons for your declining interest in sex and they’re feeling confused. Explain how you’re feeling and communicate frankly while being sure to listen carefully to your partner.
- Take Things Slowly: Don’t rush straight for the kill in the bedroom. Dial back to when you were much younger and intimate afternoons stretched on into the evening. Take your sweet time with foreplay and use lubrication as a part of this. Ask your partner to apply it to warm things up.
- It’s All About The Journey: Both you and your partner can get plenty of pleasure without intercourse. If it’s not always comfortable for you, switch to tender intimacy instead and embrace kissing and cuddling your partner with no pressure.
Vergo is an interactive program that gives women the tools to understand their Menopause.
- The Vergo iOS symptom tracker (emailable to your healthcare provider)
- The Vergo QuikTrak symptom tracker (the refillable pdf version, also emailable)
- Vergo’s Interactive Education Program, Journey Without a Roadmap: Understanding Menopause
- Curated guides to the biggest questions and hottest topics around menopause symptoms and treatment options
- Must-have information on male menopause: There’s an Andropause? (an overview of what your guy could be going through)
- Terminology Cheat Sheets
Click the button below for more information!
- 1) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2834444/
- 2) https://www.menopause.org/for-women/sexual-health-menopause-online/changes-at-midlife/changes-in-the-vagina-and-vulva
- 3) https://mysecondspring.ie/menopause-symptoms/changes-in-libido-and-sex-drive
- 4) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.3109/13697137.2012.707385
- 5) https://menopausedoctor.co.uk/early-menopause/menopause-and-depression/